There’s no shame in thinking about how you are going to meet your future spouse, what he will be like or what qualities you know you want in a mate.

God loves marriage, and for most Christians who are single, God has a special someone in mind just for you. While I believe in the sovereignty of God, I believe the way God leads us to our spouse is often times way more practical than most Christians expect.

In fact, you can think about the future details of all this so much, you can build unhelpful expectations in your mind that hinder the practical side of meeting, being in a relationship and marrying the one God has for you.

If you are ready to be more intentional in your search, here are 3 common unhelpful expectations that could be poisoning your chances at meeting your future spouse.

He has to have the same Christian story as I do

In theory, Christians typically fall into one of two categories: either “I grew up in a Christian home” or “I became a Christian later in life” category. When we meet someone at church for the first time, it’s all too easy to make that snap judgment after hearing when their spiritual birth date was.

Subconsciously, we typically gravitate towards people with similar backgrounds as ours.

If you were the pastor’s daughter, you might be looking for a pastor’s son. If your testimony is pretty standard, you probably have not opened yourself to being with someone who was saved out of a drug addiction.

But if you only consider men and women who are “older Christians” or “younger Christians,” you are drastically limiting your options. A guy who’s been saved for three years might be leaps and bounds more mature than the apathetic guy who grew up in a Christian home.

He has to look exactly like this

Okay, this may seem a little obvious. But just because we all know we shouldn’t judge people by their looks doesn’t mean we don’t still do it.

Everyone has their attractions. We should all marry someone we are attracted to, but first impressions can be deceiving. You’d be surprised at how attracted you can be to someone simply because they make you laugh, listen well or are really good conversationalists.

Before or during a relationship, attraction can grow the more you know someone. So try getting to know the person first before claiming you just aren’t attracted to him or her.

He has to make a certain amount of money.

We all grow up in a certain economic class. This will cause you to either be more comfortable with how you grew up or it may make you want to live totally different than how you grew up.

While it’s a huge blessing to marry someone with the same financial goals as you, assuming you will marry someone with a high-paying job is a recipe for disaster.

Of course you should never settle, but if you find someone you love and who really loves you back, you’ll find a happiness no money can buy in your relationship.

Read more at http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/7-ways-you-didnt-know-youre-sabotaging-your-dating-life#7S5I37VlIH5xjJZP.99

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