HOW TO OVERCOME VERBAL ABUSE

verbal abuse

When he starts like this, I can’t help but wish he would just knock me out cold rather than smash my heart with his words.

His words stings more than I would like to admit, if I didn’t love him so much I am sure I would have left him long ago.

Maybe that is the problem, I cannot leave him and he knows it. He never missed any opportunity to tell me how lucky I was to have him, how useless and unfulfilling my life would be if he hadn’t married me.

Stanley was my knight in shining armor as he came into my life at my lowest state. He did not mind how I was and was determined to help me be everything I had thought I would never be. He was my strength and self-worth.

Despite everything, I couldn’t still believe it when he asked me to marry him. It was like a dream from that moment till we finally tied the knot.

Marriage was the reality that woke me up from my dreams as I awoke to the harsh reality of Stanley’s criticism and self-glory in making me who I am.

Now I am back to the state he met me initially, only this time I am in a far worse state as I cannot escape from this reality.

 

Verbal abuse is the most common way to control the actions, opinions, and emotions of another person. Scheming behaviors are premeditated to influence the person into doing what the abuser wants them to do under the façade of love or respect or fear.

Have you resigned yourself to verbal abuse from your spouse?

Have you totally lost your self-worth and believe every degrading thing your spouse says you are?

Verbal abuse is worse than physical abuse, only the victim feels the scar and nurses it. Its scars cannot be cured by taking medication or going for surgery.

It even takes longer to heal and restore to original state because most victims of verbal abuse do not even know they victims.

 

HOW TO GET OUT OF IT:

  1. ADMIT IT: This is a crucial step in the healing process. You have to admit and acknowledge to yourself that you are being verbally abused.
  2. KNOW IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT: Most verbal abuse victims think they deserve it because they did something wrong or did not meet up to the expectations of their spouse. Nothing you do or don’t do gives anyone the right to abuse you verbally or emotionally. Stop taking the blame! It is not your fault.
  3. TALK TO SOMEONE YOU TRUST: It is hard to confide in someone so as to avoid criticism or talk to the wrong person but talking to someone outside yourself would help you see the light. The person would be able to help you through it and advise you on steps to take.
  4. SEEK HELP: You might be scared of what the abuser would do to you or himself if he finds out you tried getting help so you might need to talk to organisations who can help you. There are a lot of organisations out there willing to help you overcome and emerge a better person.
  5. GOD: Only God can heal thoroughly and make all situations right. You might feel that God has forgotten you or do not care about you. I can assure you that he cares for you and had been with you through all the hurt. All He just requires of you is for you to put your hands in His outstretched hands so He can take care of you and heal you of all abuse.

 

 

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