Biodun and I met just after the end of my final exams in the university. He had just returned from Cyprus where he obtained a master’s degree. We got married a little over two years after we first met. As a young lady, I was quite upscale, following fashion trends as they came. My youthful stature and extroverted nature were an added advantage. For my husband, all these were a crowning of my endearing attributes.
A decade and three children later, the slim figure has given way to a fuller body. Life and circumstances have taken their toll, and childbearing has made its mark. The complications I had during the birth of our last child, and the significant weight gain my body suffered made me resolve within me not to have more children. I plan to arrange for a semi-permanent family planning to ensure that the likelihood of pregnancy greatly reduces. I am certain that my husband will not support my decision, but I am convinced of pulling it through without him knowing. My husband still assures me that I am still as attractive as I was before the children came; but I am not too sure anymore.
And then, there’s the cravings. During my first pregnancy, I could never overcome my cravings for pastries and chocolates. It was going to be a temporary thing, I thought, but it followed me right after childbirth and through my next two pregnancies. By the time i decided to stop, I was fat! I have tried all sorts of weight loss schemes and herbal mixtures friends have recommended, but I haven’t stopped being so fat. And it hurts, because my social life diminished with every increasing weight in my body.
In the meantime, I have lost confidence in my body and I do not feel comfortable with my bloated figure. I still cannot bring myself to accept the changes that child-bearing and my untamed cravings have imposed on my body. It is telling on my intimacy with my husband as I have become excessively cautious even in my matrimonial home. The cheerfulness that I once had has paled and the atmosphere is not the same again.
Please help me.